It’s been a while since I posted anything on this blog … when things are good I’m just less motivated –there’s so many other things I want to do, and when things are bad, I suddenly don’t have the time. That’s certainly been the pattern in the last month…
Almost immediately after my last update, I started a major downslide (the beginning of it is described in that post). The whole experience was highly hormonal, with wild emotion changes, extreme fatigue, heat, cold, and so on (and, interestingly, coincided with my period). I ended up leaving early to see my doctor just to get away from it all, and spent a lovely weekend with my 1 month old niece in Philly before going to NY. I arrived at the doctor’s office right around the end of it and was given a new antibiotic (Ceftin).
The doctor’s visit was a bit depressing … they seem to be running out of ideas for what antibiotic will help, and if this one doesn’t they’re talking about starting IV antibiotics again. I’m not sure I can or want to do it. The experience of having a PIC line in my arm was very traumatic for me last time — extensive antibiotics are intellectually difficult for me to accept, but the PIC line was a foreign body that caused me deep and visceral discomfort. Additionally I know that serious adverse events are not uncommon with extended use of one.
In any case, I came home and began using the new antibiotic, along with a new supplement, ViraStop (reviewed here), which supposedly contains enzymes able to help treat disease. I decided to take it as an experiment and on the recommendation of two individuals, one with lyme and one without. Enzyme therapy is also reviewed possibly in Rosner’s book on the top 10 treatments for Lyme Disease (reviewed and linked here by me). In terms of my goal for evaluating new treatments, this is pretty scarce evidence, but the cost to me is relatively low, and I intend to try it for a short while and hopefully do the research a little later (or perhaps take it away and see what happens/judge whether to restart it again).
I was just beginning to feel better when I had a strange bout of dizziness (I literally felt as if the room shook for a second right before it started). Two days later I had to take someone close to the family to the emergency room, and around 8:00 started to feel sick, progressively worse as the evening wore on (tender lymph nodes, dizzy, tired). My husband traded with me and I went home. By morning I had flu symptoms, including a fever the next afternoon, and continued difficulty keeping food in until late in the day today. I haven’t had a fever in a long time from Lyme so I’m pretty sure it’s a straight up flu.
The thing is, my title refers as much to the good as the bad. I love rain, it helps my garden grow, brings a freshness to air and turns everything so green. And this weekend proved the value of friends and family. My husband spent the weekend at the hospital giving help to someone who dearly needed it. I spent the weekend at home with the kids (3 and 5), getting help and dearly needing it. One friend came to babysit on Friday so my husband and I could trade hospital duty when I fell ill, then stayed on to let me talk about all the worries I had. The same friend took the kids for an entire morning on Saturday. Another friend (who is herself in the middle of a difficult time) came over and helped to keep them occupied this afternoon so I didn’t have to leave my chair. In between we got emails, phone calls, and other outpourings of concern and offers of help.
All I can say is thank you. Once again I am reminded that the value of my life lies not the labels or illness that describe me, but the people I am connected to and the difference we all make for each other and in the world.