In the spirit of the season…

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I don’t know most of you or live near you, but this is the season for gifts. And what better gift for all of us than laughter? Unfortunately, I have found very few resources on Lyme humor.

Now, in a past life, I was studying to be a performance violist. Violists are the butt of many jokes (being oft mistaken as second class/failed violinists), and in fact we like to collect them and invent them. In that vein, here is a collection of some of the best lyme jokes I could find.

First, here are some fun sources: Lymie Jokes and real life Physician Quotes; Life with a twist of Lyme (which includes a great lyme song to the tune of “On top of old smokey”); and some I made up.

My own jokes:

How do you tell the difference between a Lymie and a blanket? The blanket can bend without any pain.

An IDSA doctor and an LLMD meet by chance. The LLMD asks the IDSA doc “do you think that intelligent life is possible?” “Of course,” replies the IDSA doc, “just look around you”. “But how can that be?”, replies the LLMD. “After all, as far as we know, it’s never been replicated. Show me a clinical trial. It must be all in your head.”

How many Lymies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don’t know — none of them could remember doing it!

Favorites from “Lymie Jokes“:

“I’m not nearly as think as you confused I am.”

I’m not irritable, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, noise, sound, children, politicians, or anything else in my environment…

I am extremely creative, I remember something new every day.

Three ladies with Lyme were discussing the problems of living with the disease. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself standing on the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.” The third one responded, ” Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood.” as she rapped her knuckles on the table…then said,”That must be the door, I’ll get it!”

You know you have lyme when …

Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”

Your idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.

You stop to think and forget to start again

You wake up stressed – then you realize you haven’t
fallen asleep yet.

All the pharmacists and lab workers in town know you on a first name basis.

You can’t remember what that string on your finger is for

Not from a lyme specific site, but a list of top things to ban at christmas time suggested “No Reindeer. Lyme disease vectors”

Folks, if you read this far, and enjoyed these, post comments with new ideas . There’s got to be a good ending to “why did the tick cross the road?” And what about “A man and a tick walk into a bar…”? Also, check out the rest of the funnies on “Lymie Jokes“, by far the best list I’ve found so far.

Happy Holidays. May laughter brighten your day and lighten your load!

2 thoughts on “In the spirit of the season…

  1. Hi,

    Wow, some of these really had me laughing! As I kept reading, I kept bouncing between laughter and tears. That should be another way to tell you have lyme:

    Someone tells you a funny joke and you cry, and don’t know why.

    Thanks for the pleasant distraction.

  2. Thank you for the chuckle. It really brightened my day. It’s funny, ALL the pharmacists DO know me on a first name basis, and all my family who pick up my pills on those herx days, and I know all their names… Lyme induced friendships is one of the symptoms I like best.

    Life with Lyme is so absurd, at least it gives us something to laugh at. It helps to be a fan of dark British comedy before you catch it, though.

    Happy holidays. Thanks for the smile.

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