still not over…

This definitely counts as one of the longest “flare-ups” I’ve had (or maybe it’s just more than one back to back). For the last week, I’ve had continued difficulty concentrating, ringing in my ears that makes it hard to go back to sleep in the middle of the night, headaches galore, and dizziness (again!). To top it all off, I had a severe bout of fatigue again today that lasted for 6 hours.

It started in a meeting where I could hardly keep my eyes open. I dragged myself to my office and collapsed on a futon I have handy that pulls out into a bed. My hands grew cold, and chills and shaking ensued. 30 minutes later I tried to go to the bathroom. I made it, but with more chills and shaking. It seemed clear this was a major episode that wouldn’t resolve quickly, and I’d also had repeating episodes of dizziness at the end of the day that made it hard to get home safely, so I decided I’d better ask for help getting home from work. I managed to get my phone and IM a friend, but even the effort of lifting my fingers to type was almost too much. Two friends got me to a car (I had to lean on one to even get there) and drove me home. I asked my in-laws to take the kids (my husband is out of town, and I couldn’t have done much for them myself).

My fatigue lasted 6 long hours in which I basically couldn’t lift a finger without getting out of breath, couldn’t project my voice without getting out of breath, didn’t have the energy to hold my head up, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think, just couldn’t. Even breathing felt difficult at times. My whole body was tingling for much of it.

When the end came, it was as sudden and unexpected as the beginning. One of my friends called to see if I needed anything. I needed company, and fluids, and asking for soup got me both :). By the time she’d finished ministering to me, I could sit up, type, talk and hold my head up. Each one a small miracle.

Several friends have advised me recently to take this one day at a time. Worrying only makes it worse. It’s not easy to do so, but in that vein, I’ll end this by saying: I guess we’ll see what tomorrow brings. For now I’m going to enjoy my breath, my hands, my voice, my freedom.

2 thoughts on “still not over…

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